Day 10 Just Hanging On…

Today was day #10 of my warring for breakthrough.  Nothing strange or unusual occurred today.  My prayer partner is still sick, but I hope she can show up tomorrow.  She was better today.  I got up and did my Lord’s Supper, Prayer, and Praise by myself, but I know God was very present.  I am finding it easier by the day to enter into the aspect of praise.  It makes it a lot easier when you remember to give thanks for all your blessings first.  Sometimes I get so caught up in the drama of all the things in my life that are a mess that I sometimes forget to give thanks for the blessings I do have! 

• I got to spend 9 years with a wonderful husband who loved me very much.
• My 3 children are still alive and well, in spite of spending quite a few years living a dangerous lifestyle.
• Most of my family is alive and healthy.
• I was brought up in America by CHRISTIAN parents who taught me about God. 
• I have the best parents ever.
• I can go to church wherever I like, and in most places, I can still talk about God and Jesus.
• I was born in 1961, in a time when the entire world was not riddled with death and disease.
• I am healthy enough to see, hear, think, and walk around freely to engage in most activities that please me.
• I am still able to live in my home.
• I have a car and modern appliances.
• I have nice clothes to wear and abundant food to eat.
• I have a couple of good friends who love me.
• I have the sweetest pets ever.

 In general, I feel stronger in my spirit than I did a few weeks ago.  I feel calmer and more at peace as well. My circumstances have not outwardly changed, but I feel confident that they will.  Surely within the next 20 days, something will manifest.  I am seeing prayers answered in the lives of others.  

Today, I went and helped out a friend with getting some of his business affairs straightened out.  I just got back a little while ago.  My friend was just having TROUBLE dealing with the monster paperwork issues.  I know the feeling.  Paperwork is my worst nightmare.  I have STACKS of it around my place.  I have no problem helping someone else do theirs, but doing my own seems to take a Herculean effort that I cannot dredge up.  A while  back, I heard a sermon preached about the way to achieve  your dream being to first help someone else achieve theirs, then God will send the circumstances to birth your dream.  Since my business and home affairs are in a fat mess, I thought maybe if I helped out a friend in getting theirs straight, God would provide the needed help for me get mine straight.  It could be that all the help I need is just being able to better FOCUS. 

I still need friends to keep praying for me, that breakthrough comes.  I tried fasting today, and did fairly well.  I had juice and some fruit.  I prayed about it beforehand, which helped.  I was never one who was very good at fasting….. go figure.  I get hungry!

So…… to bed, to pray, to snuggle with my dogs…. and we’ll see what tomorrow brings.  I am asking God to hold me close to His heart, for Him to give me a special awareness of His closeness and presence in order to stay strong and to keep from feeling lonely and afraid, to keep my eyes off circumstance and stay grounded in faith.  I am asking for Him to show me how He wants to be praised by ME….. what will make HIM feel more loved by me?  I have asked the Holy Spirit to show me what needs to change in me so that I can step forward to fulfill the destiny God has planned for me.  I am confident He will show me!