Day 7 Amazing Stuff happening in Spiritual Warfare!

Wow, so many things are happening, I cannot get the blogs written fast enough!   Yesterday was Sunday.  I woke up under such a horrible oppression, I did not know if I could even make it through the day.  Early in the morning, with nobody to pray with or for me, I got ready and drove to church.  I did not want to even go, and if I had not been committed to my volunteer position in the visual/audio booth, I would have crawled under my bedsheet and laid there with it over my head indefinitely.  I felt so discouraged, wondering if I was mistaken about this whole 30 Day thing.  I said “GOD – I don’t see ANYTHING happening in my life!  I feel more ALONE and isolated than ever!  I am all by myself, and getting my butt kicked by the devil, and I sure need some help here today!!” 

In addition to my other discouragements, I was even feeling bad about this blog.  When I started it, I KNEW God told me to do it.  I just KNEW it.  I was going to wait a week or two, until things calmed down a little to start it, but I felt so strongly in my spirit that I was supposed to start it, that there was somebody out there who desperately needed it, I was up working on it in the middle of the night.  Artists are driven to create, they can’t help it—even if their talent doesn't appeal to everyone. I'd asked a couple of friends to take a look and give me some feedback, to let  me know if the content was too personal, or if it would make readers uncomfortable.  I got zero feedback. Nobody I asked to read it bothered to even look at it.  One of my personal soul struggles in my life has been rejection, and the devil knows it.  That’s where he knifes me in the gut every time, to bring on discouragement, depression, and loneliness, rendering me useless.  I was feeling so discouraged, I went online and pulled all the recent links to my blog off my FB posts.  Then I went to church. 

I went upstairs to my workstation, feeling so glum…. so alone, so isolated, invisible, discouraged, spiritually tired, and wondering if I had heard from God at ALL on ANYTHING.  Was I supposed to be warring, or was it all just crazy nonsense I dreamed up out of my own restless, A.D.D., sometimes totally manic mind?? We creative types are often plagued into extreme misery and despair by the supersonic workings of our own high-speed, Ferrari type brains that refuse to slow down and process things realistically.  Our minds are continually churning.  That's why we have trouble sleeping at night.  When we feel bad.... WE FEEL REALLY BAD.  When we feel good, we are totally nuts and we drive everyone around us nuts.  I wondered if God was DOING anything in my life.  I haven’t seen any evidence of anything in my personal struggles.  No job interviews have come up.  I still have the chronic headaches and fatigue.  My kids are still in the deep weeds.  I am still having terrible challenges connecting with people and making new friends.  The man of my dreams had not called me up for a date Friday night.

It’s almost been like I have a personal black cloud traveling right over the top of me, keeping me invisible to the entire world. Actually, I believe I DO!! It’s a spiritual thing stuck onto me that has to be prayed off.  It is preventing my Christian destiny coming to pass.  An invisible person without a job or provision is not going to be much good in the Kingdom of God!  That is part of why I am called to 30 Days of Warfare, to 30 Days of believing God’s promises and hanging on to them for my provision, my breakthrough, my direction, and my blessings.  There is stubborn stuff stuck to me that has to be prayed off and warred off.

I sat through the first morning worship, and the sermon, and my Princess Warrior spirit was completely dormant. She was below ground level, not a breath of life left in her.  I felt like she’d been brutally slain.  I thought “This is your life honey, you better just SUCK IT UP and learn to deal with it, cuz nothing is gonna change!  You are gonna lose it ALL, die all alone and forgotten in a ghetto section 8, you might as well just lay down right now  and die.”  I felt like the prophet Elijah hiding in the desert when Jezebel was after him.  Depleted and discouraged, downgraded and disgusted. I sat there praying, on the verge of tears, saying “GOD I REALLY NEED HELP TODAY!!!”

By the time second service rolled around, the Heavenly reinforcements had arrived.  The lady leading worship started off by reading PSALM 47.

47 O clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph.

2 For the LORD most high is terrible; he is a great King over all the earth.

3 He shall subdue the people under us, and the nations under our feet.

4 He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.

5 God is gone up with a shout, the LORD with the sound of a trumpet.

6 Sing praises to God, sing praises: sing praises unto our King, sing praises.

7 For God is the King of all the earth: sing ye praises with understanding.

8 God reigneth over the heathen: God sitteth upon the throne of his holiness.

9 The princes of the people are gathered together, even the people of the God of Abraham: for the shields of the earth belong unto God: he is greatly exalted.

She said it was a Psalm for war.  It is.  She mentioned how PRAISE BROUGHT DOWN THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!  Then she said “We can’t rely on our FEELINGS, we just have to take God at His word on what he will do for us.  Feelings will mislead us every time!”

Did you read that?  PRAISE BROUGHT DOWN THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!  That was the whole topic of my blog yesterday.  God told me my prayer list was my personal Jericho, and if I would symbolically march around it and praise, THOSE WALLS WOULD COME DOWN!!!!  The devil was using my FEELINGS to mess with me, to get me to give up and QUIT so I would LOSE OUT on the breakthrough God promised me was coming if I would war for 30 days. 

The Princess Warrior WOKE UP from her underground slumber.  By the time the worship team started singing HOSANNA, I was totally into the praise and worship for real.  Depression, oppression, heaviness was GONE, and the Princess Warrior was in charge, with her weapons of war at the ready.  I had to tell the worship leader how incredibly powerful her words were for me.  She was amazed, and said “Well I thought I was just up there rambling on way too much!”

 I said “No, you said just what you were supposed to say!” 

God gave her those words for me, which proves to me that HE IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS!!!  How often does God give a minister in church a special word for YOU alone????  It sure doesn't happen every day, but when it does, it is a faith builder.  You KNOW that you know you matter!

I went home and had a really productive time of prayer with my prayer partner.  After which I made an INCREDIBLE chicken salad for our lunch.  Then I got ready to go to the once per month Habitation service at Gateway Church.  It is always incredible. They pray special prayers, and have special music, and they are always giving us testimonies of miraculous healings and moves of God that happen within the Gateway Habitation service.  I always invite people, and about 99% of the time, I go and sit through the service alone.  However, I hardly ever miss it.  God always shows up and I don’t want to miss God!!  I had FOUR friends whom I’d invited and who had earlier promised to come.  They were all single, 3 girls and a guy.  And they would ALL like to be in a godly relationship with “The One”.  (SEE -- really, it is not EVIL or perverse or weird for widows to want to be married, like many people believe!!!  We are just the same as the divorced people when it comes to feeling sick of being alone and wanting someone special to share our lives!!)  Only ONE friend showed up! One friend decided to stay home and sleep.  One friend was busy trying to make a hookup with somebody, and let THAT keep them out of Habitation, and the other had a date (a date with a WRONG guy -- girlfriend I love you with all my heart, but HE is not the one...... and your spirit knows it......).

Now – would you like to know what one of the elders was led to pray over????  GET READY.  He said “Would all the single people in this church who would like to be married stand up – I feel led to pray that God will provide mates for YOU ALL!”  Then he asked for all of the non-single people to lay hands on us and pray while he prayed.  Our mouths were hanging open, but we stood up.  Fully 1/3 of the people in that crowded auditorium stood up! Maybe more.  I looked around in total amazement.  I knew that there were a LOT of single people attending Gateway who were not participants in the singles group….for pretty much the same reason I seldom participate in it.  I won’t get into the why of the severely limited participation of Gateway singles in the singles group here, but it is a serious issue.  Myself and several others are praying about that.  I had no idea there were so many!!!   My friend and I looked at each other and grinned, and said “In Jesus' name, we receive!” 

A lovely married man next to us prayed a wonderful prayer over us.  We smiled so hugely, we looked like mules eating corn through the neighbors’ picket fence. Our absent friends missed out on the special blessing, but we did not!!!!  We were right there in the middle of it, where we were supposed to be, and I thought it was SO COOL that the elders felt led to pray that prayer.  Those prayers they pray are very powerful…..

A special, godly man to share my life and be my soul mate, daily, permanent prayer partner and my spiritual leader is ONE of the breakthroughs I am praying for! The Bible says ONE puts a thousand to flight, TWO puts 10 thousand to flight.  I am ready for my prayer life to ratchet up to the 10th power -- and HEARTILY sick of traveling the Christian pilgrim road alone.  With the right person walking beside me, I might not fall into that "slough of despond" (from John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress) so often!!  I do not want to date any more toads.  I will NOT waste my time on toads.  I’m holding out for GOD HIMSELF to pick and choose THE ONE and divinely place him directly into my life.  I want only God’s choice, and only God’s choice for me!!!!  I plan to be BLESSED and deliriously happy when I get married!  You won’t see me in any divorce court, ever again, by the grace of GOD!!!   

They also prayed for people with cancer.  So I stood up for my sister in law, Carol, who is seriously ill with cancer.  I have been praying for her daily.  It was a fabulous service.  I went up front afterward to get prayed for…. Because why MISS an opportunity for someone to pray over you when you are in WAR??  My altar prayer minister was a lovely older lady in the Gateway widows group named Jean.  She prayed a wonderful prayer over me.  I left that place with my Princess Warrior spirit infused with power and might, convinced that THE WALLS OF MY PERSONAL JERICHO ARE COMING DOWN!!!!!  The FALL of THIS JERICHO will be MIGHTY!!!!

I can’t wait to see what happens next.  This is incredible.  If nobody except one person on this whole earth reads my blog about my spiritual journey, and gets blessed and encouraged from it, if my personal art remains hidden on the walls of Heaven with no one but God and one other person benefiting, I will have done what God ASKED me to do, and His blessing for my obedience will come!!  I know God loves and accepts me.... and He will bring the human acceptance my way in His own good time.  Amen…… the Spirit Warrior rides her horse into battle!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXp5nGBre4&feature=endscreen  This is the praise song that is blessing me in my Jericho battle today.  It is very uplifting to the soul………..  I could listen to it all day long.